Adding another bub to the family will no doubt bring about a whole lot of changes. I won’t lie, as much as I feel like I will enjoy and cherish having another baby more (perhaps because I’m a little older now), there are still a bunch of anxieties and fears floating around in my mind. I like to think about them without focusing too much on them or allowing them to take up too much space in my life. (Does that make sense?) I feel like if I think about possible ways to handle them, or even just to prepare myself for them, I will hopefully help myself face them better.
1. I have to say my number one fear is… going into labour and not having anyone to look after my two kids. We have no family and no friends here (well, no friend friend anyway). When I brought this up with Husband, he absent-mindedly replied that of course he’ll look after the kids. No, dude, you get to be with me in the birthing suite!
Husband has workmates whom we have dinner with now and then but they are mostly single men and we don’t exactly know anyone well enough. Given the demographics of this town (many people move here for work and don’t have families around too), I’m sure we aren’t the only ones so I’m really curious how other parents deal with this problem. Has anyone faced this issue or any suggestions please?
2. Energy levels to cope with managing the already busy household + a newborn. I know, we are only a family with 2 kids now but there’s always washing to be done, hungry tummies to be fed, stuff to pack away, cleaning to do, lunches to pack… how do mums of multiples do it? No, really. Being slightly anemic (that’s on a normal day so it’s even worse during pregnancy and post-pregnancy), I get to enjoy the joys of occasional dizzy spells and just overall fatigue and low energy levels. Luckily, Husband is pretty hands on with helping out with the chores and the kids are getting a little older so I have been training them to help out too. I know I will need to keep my energy levels up and keep everything running.
3. Birthing options. I went into labour the last time feeling rather brave and empowered. However, I had just moved to our country town with its small hospital (I was 8 months pregnant) and didn’t really understand that it meant lesser resources and options. This time, I have been asking the midwives a lot of questions. I am told that the next big hospital is about 1.5 hours away (in good traffic) and that is the place to go for an epidural or if there are any complications. I have also been told that it’s common for women from my town to start on the commute there for an epidural, only to have their labour progress too quickly causing them to birth by the side of the road or in the back of the ambulance. The horror! This is a huge fear I have but I have been told we’ll just wait and see how things go on that day. Yes, hardly reassuring but I doubt there is much I can do given the geographical realities here. The midwife said sometimes the ambulance takes an hour to arrive so you have the dilemma of waiting for the ambulance or choosing to embark on the commute on your own (with the risk of possibly birthing midway with no one with you but your husband – yes, his face went white when I told him that).
It’s kind of funny that when I gave birth to Kasey, I didn’t have a lot of fears or anxieties at all. I don’t think I thought too much into things and I just dove in head first. Of course, I was caught by surprise/shock as I had quite a bad experience during labour at the same country hospital and she turned out to be a very colicky and spewy baby. This time feels different. I do have more fear (mainly regarding the birth) yet I am really excited and looking forward to meeting my new baby.
I do believe things usually work out but in the meantime, I think I’ll be reading up on and educating the husband about delivering babies! Just in case!
photo credit: bootees via CC