Inappropriate Things My Toddler Says

(Last Updated On: August 7, 2018)

Kids say the darnest things.

Most of the time, it’s funny. Adorable even.
Except when it’s in public and targeted at poor unsuspecting strangers.

Especially so if it’s in a small confined space and loud enough for everyone to hear.

When you’re in a lift with about 10 people and your toddler says out loud: “Mummy, I think that boy did a fart.” And everyone stifles a giggle while you try to ignore said toddler and feel a whole lot of sympathy for poor innocent boy who’s only about 10 years old. That, by the way, is the worst way to respond to said toddler because by ignoring, she thinks you didn’t hear her and proceeds to repeat (read: scream) even louder that she thinks the boy did a fart.

I had to take her along to my doctor’s appointment this week and we were stuck for 40 minutes in a small waiting room.

First, she commented that “that boy smiled” at her. Which seems like a harmless enough remark. Except that the “boy” is actually a really elderly man with a walking stick. He laughed it off but I was embarrassed and couldn’t figure out why she called him a boy.

Then, she decided to change seats next to a lady with really short hair. Of course, the toddler had to announce her intentions first and proceeded to loudly announce “Mummy, I’m going to sit next to this man.” When she moved closer, she giggled and said “Mummy, I’m so silly. It’s a lady.” Then, she changed again in confusion and said “Mummy, it’s a man.” Then, she walked back to me and said “I don’t want to sit there anymore.”

By that point, I was desperately texting my husband.

Shoot. Me. Now.

Besides pointing out every time a baby cried (which I shushed her for because I didn’t want her adding any extra stress on that poor mum), she also excitedly announced that an old lady was pushing a pram into our waiting room with another baby. Except the old lady wasn’t pushing a pram. She was pushing her walker which had a big basket in front that could have looked a little like a pram. Anyhow…

The other day, she got up her dad and gave him a lecture. She told him he shouldn’t be scribbling on his arms and that he needs to remove said scribbles, apologise and promise not to do it again. Obviously, her preschool teachers have done a good job in teaching the kids not to draw on their arms. However, the scribble on her dad’s arm is a tattoo of her name! Luckily, that happened at home but I keep my fingers crossed she doesn’t attempt to lecture someone else about arm scribbles!

Oh the funny things kids say.

Though it’s sometimes not all that funny. I have been genuinely horrified!

On a side note, I know I should stop calling Kace ‘toddler’. She’s more ‘preschooler’ now. But I googled (as you do) and they said 1-3 years is ok for ‘toddler’ so I’m resting in that denial and running with that for now x


What inappropriate things has your child said?


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