Mums Returning To Work

(Last Updated On: July 10, 2019)

I have been reading a few blogs in the last few weeks on the topic of mothers returning to work. I can always relate with the missing of kids and the sudden enjoyment of mundane everyday chores on hindsight. One thing though that always lingered at the back of my mind was: the reason many mothers return to work.

I believe it’s a genuine case for many mothers that they have to return to work. And I can definitely empathize with that heartbreaking feeling of leaving our kids behind for lack of any other choice. I have had to do that before in the past.

The topic of mothers returning to work has deeply interested me in the last few weeks since I myself have taken a more significant step to returning to work.

I have been getting weird looks though when I explain that I have returned to work because… I want to. Because I wanted to indulge in my self. My own dreams. My own passions.  My own ambitions.

Is that selfish?

It makes me nervous to say that because I haven’t actually heard many mums say that. Maybe for fear of judgement from fellow mums and being at the mercy of “don’t you know your kids need you?!”  lectures.

Well, I believe my kids need me. And at barely 2 years old, I do not currently feel comfortable leave my baby at daycare every day.

But this is what I believe.

I believe that it is up to myself to make a balanced arrangement, as best as I can with whatever I have.
I believe I can be a mother and still look after myself.

I do not believe condemnation for being selfish should be endowed upon a mother who chooses to even dare to indulge in herself for a second (much less have the silly guts to announce it).

Afterall, this is also what I believe:

These days, I wake up and jump out of bed with a sense of purpose and passion. I have so much more energy despite feeling physically tired at times, but you know what I mean.

And for that, I think I am actually a better parent.
I actually do more things in a comparatively lesser amount of time just because I’m filled with purpose and passion as I have allowed myself to indulge in my interest and passion. I actually set aside more quality time with the baby when I take breaks from work compared to when I had a whole quantity of time with her in the past.

This is not to say that my kids failed to fill me with a sense of purpose and passion when I was a stay home mum {instead of work at home mum}. This is to say that I, as a person, have more to myself than being a mum. I have needs, passions, ambitions that step outside of motherhood. Motherhood gives me things so unique that I can’t find elsewhere. But I am not only a mother. Now that my other needs are fulfilled, I feel more alive than ever.

So I am here to say, I have returned to work… but I have no small print disclaimer saying “only because I have to; I would never leave my child willingly”. I have returned to work because I actually want to and I believe I can and I believe I should, for my self.

Linking up with Essentially Jess .

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    • Thanks Tegan! I’m definitely a huge believe in Happy Mum Happy Kids too. I think it helps me refocus my energy and feel more positive in general 🙂

  • This is a great post, thank you for being honest.

    I don’t have kids myself, but have spoken to Mothers who have returned to work for the same reason you have – to build on themselves.

  • I think it’s awesome to do what you need to do, for you. Stressed and unfulfilled primary caregivers don’t make for an ideal environment for children in any case!

    For me, returning to work after my first and second children was definitely “only because I had to” – I really didn’t want to, and that showed. I was able to negotiate a primary work at home arrangement that suited better but I won’t lie, I was still only doing it because we needed the income.

    However, 2 years ago, when my third child was 2.5, I started my own consultancy business which has grown slowly but is now a solid part-time job for me. THIS I am doing absolutely because I want to be doing it. I’m thinking of returning to salaried work next year and again, it’s because I believe I’m at the stage where this will make me happier, more fulfilled and a better parent and person.

    • Hi Kathy, I can’t agree more! I think happy parents make for a better environment for sure 🙂 Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you are enjoying your work and feeling happier and more fulfilled and as a result, being a better parent. That’s exactly what I believe in and aim for 🙂

  • A great post! I also started my business because I wanted to be inspired, and learn and have more in my day than nappies and housework. I will return to full time work one day, to fulfill my dreams of paying off our mortgage not because I have to, it is because I want to. Enjoy your new status 🙂

    • Thanks Eleise! I definitely am enjoying it all at the moment 🙂 I agree with wanting to be inspired and learn more and generally, have more than just nappies & household though that is a big job in itself!

  • I dont have kids, nor am I married but I have a feeling a lot of women would be able to relate to you. I don’t think it is selfish to want to pursue the things you want and have a passion for, but of course it is all about balancing your family life in the equation as well (:

    My mother had her own career, so both my parents worked but in my entire childhood I never once remembered not having them around. Infact, what I remember most vividly is the weekends we spent together and the books my mother read to me and my father teaching my sister and I how to swim.

    That said, I probably didnt feel like I was missing parental guidance/love because school was from 8 in the morning till 3pm and by the time we got to our nanny’s to shower, finish our homework and eat- it was already time for my mother to pick us up. I later found out one of the reasons my parents sent us to a private school was because the curriculum offered longer hours and we would not be bored/feel alone/have too much time to do destructive things.

    Okay end of super long comment! All the best in your new job, I am sure you will be excellent!! 😀

  • Woohooo – a post after my own heart !!! I returned to work partly because we needed the money but also because I am not very maternal. We had a nanny who looked after K from when she was 2 weeks old and she did a great job with her. I enjoyed the time I got to spend with her in the evening / weekends but at the end of the day, I was not cut out to be a SAHM – no matter what anybody said.
    I used to feel guilty about taking time out for myself until I realised that when I take time out for myself – I am actually a better wife, mom, colleague, sister, friend etc – it helps everyone if I give myself some time alone – then I stopped feeling guilty about it !
    I think what you have done is amazing and I don’t think that anyone should be judging you for the choice you made – it is your life to live how you see fit !!
    Have the best day !

    • Oh kudos to you for being so honest! I do believe there are people who are not “cut out to be a SAHM” as you put it. Just like not everyone is cut out to be a salesperson, or an actress or so on and so forth. Everyone is different and I just wish others would respect that truth. Or better still, not even be bothered about what other people do with their lives because it’s really not their place to bother! Thanks for your comment! xx

  • Thank you! I’ve just found this through IBOT and I return to work in about 3 weeks time. One because I have to, and two because I WANT to. Adult conversation and a bit of social interaction. It will only be two days a week for me and those two days, DD will be at daycare, learning interaction and other skills.

    • Thanks for your comment and sharing! I crave for adult interaction so much on some days when it’s just me and bub. It’s so important isn’t it? ALL THE BEST when you return to work in 3 weeks 🙂 x

  • *stands up and applauds*
    Well said, and well done on going back to work! I am so sick of everyone being so judgmental about the subject of Working Mum’s! Truly, it is not anyone’s business and people should keep their poorly informed opinions to themselves. I love being a mum, I love working, I don’t see how they need to be mutually exclusive. I returned to work when my middle child was quite young, and copped so many judgmental comments along the lines of “you should be at home caring for your child” and these where mostly from women, who had no children of their own. I did not return to work after the birth of my third child, and have fielded many questions about “when are you returning to work??” Honestly!!

    • Thanks so much for your encouragement and well wishes! I definitely wish others weren’t so judgemental and really, they shouldn’t even make it their business to bother. Thanks for sharing your experience too. It’s funny how people always have something to say whatever the situation is!

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