What a difference one’s attitude can make!

(Last Updated On: July 10, 2019)

Our family had a wonderful weekend with my husband’s workmate & family. In a small town where you can sometimes run out of things to do (without driving 2 hours away to get to a decent mall), good company is very much appreciated.

So I spent a few hours indoors with Husband’s workmate’s wife and we were chatting away. It just struck me how much of a difference one’s attitude can make.

In my previous career as a career/workplace trainer, I worked with dozens and dozens of older women. Most of them lacked confidence, walked with a slouch and just did not think much of themselves or their lives/future. The sad truth is, I pretty much heard this every 2nd day: “I’m 40 now and I have been a stayhome mum for the last 20 years. I have not worked, I have no skills at all, I don’t know anything.”

And what you think, you are.
And it shows.
In your attitude, in your behaviour, in your mannerisms, in your speech – in your very being.

I ran an ’empowerment course’ that involved helping and speaking to these people and I thoroughly enjoyed my job. At that point, I haven’t really experienced being a stayhome mum. In the last 2 years, I have and I have to say… it is so difficult. It can make you feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. (And often make you want to strangle ignorant individuals, sometimes silly husbands, who carelessly say “Oh so all you do is just stay home and look after kids?)

Well, my dear friend inspired me so much when I spent time with her over the weekend.

She has 4 kids, is pregnant with her 5th and has been a stayhome mum for the last few years. And no joke, she said this (well, the gist of it): “I want to be the best mum that I can to my kids and when they’re older and this stage of being a stayhome mum is over, that’s when I can focus on my career and ambitions. I will come out with such a wealth of experience and wisdom from motherhood that will aid me in my future career and path.”

I almost stood up and applauded. Of course she put it with much more gusto than I have rephrased here from a diluted memory.
I did tell her that it is so rare to actually hear such passion, confidence, foresight and motivation in a woman who has been a stayhome mum for a good few years.

And it isn’t all empty dreamy airy fairy talk. My friend here actually tries to be active in the community while being a fulltime mum to 4 (plus 1 upcoming) kids.

It is a choice. It is an attitude. 
I have seen so many women who have had their life/motivation sucked right out of them. And I don’t blame them. Things can get really tough. Especially in a sometimes rather thankless job like motherhood. And not to mention, how society in general seem to think being a stayhome mum means sleeping in and watching tv all day long.

There are always barriers and obstacles in life. Some can be scaled over, some can be embraced, some end up helping us find other (sometimes, better) routes. But we don’t necessarily have to allow them to hinder. There are more ways than one. Your attitude and belief in yourself  is so fundamental to the way you live.

Disclaimer: I am typing this at 6am in the morning fuelled by a sudden surge of inspiration. If I check this though, I might not click publish as I have the tendency to edit over and over so here we go (pardon the not-so-structured structure but you get the gist hey!)

Bravely clicking publishing with Essentially Jess for IBOT on a freezing Tuesday…. -2 degrees, bring it on!!

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  • I love it! I agree that it is all about attitude! Keeping busy whilst being a mum helps starve off the mundane nature and demotivating feeling of being a SAHM. I love your friends attitude and I could probably do with a dose of this myself today. Thanks

  • Three cheers for writing and posting without editing…..and an extra few cheers for content!
    It’s the age old dilemma of not valuing how important this time with our children is.
    I often wonder if I’m missing the best years of my career by staying home, but then, the alternative of my babies taking their first steps for someone else, of giving someone else all the cuddles and giggles just doesn’t feel like the right choice for me.
    Great post. I nearly applauded too.

  • I like it! Making a massive life change (like coming back to work after many years at home) really would bring with it a crisis of confidence. I feel similarly when I am faced with a heap of mothering stuff – and surrounded by the mums that know the ins and outs of school and friendships and afterschool activities, and I know none of the people and none of the information.

  • What a fantastic post, Mandy! While I’m not a mother, and I won’t be in the near future (but eventually!) I can totally relate!
    Since I work night shift, I get to stay home all day. I get pretty much the same attitude – people think I’m lazy and sleep in, etc etc. They seem to forget I actually WORK for nine hours while they’re sleeping! I don’t sleep in, I actually don’t get enough sleep because my sleeping pattern isn’t correct anymore.
    So I can relate to how stay-at-home mummies get treated! While I can’t imagine having to take care of a bub, I do know it’s a 24-hour job!

    I hope heaps of stay-at-home mums read this and change their attitudes! (And while we’re at it, daddies should read too!)

  • What a fantastic post !!! You are so right – the attitude you have shows in everything you do.
    I would never diss a SAHM – they have my utmost respect. I stayed at home for 4 weeks after K was born and I couldn’t wait to go back to work – I just couldn’t cut it as a SAHM.
    Have the best day !

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